Wednesday, February 25, 2009 - 11:10 am

so today BOSS made a comment that wasn't exactly mean towards me, well, he did but that is going to be another post.  anyway, in the main kitchen, one of the managers puts her fresh breast milk that she pumps all day in her office in the freezer for all to see.

well, it appears some of the milk has spilled and has frozen over.  it hasn't been cleaned up.  now going on two weeks.

neither here nor there.

so today BOSS says "some days the milk is white and some days the milk yellow.  i wonder if it's because the days it's white, the white woman is in the office and when it's yellow the asian girl is pumping." - it is true the asian woman's milk is more yellow.  but who cares!

just had to vent on that one.  such a pig comment.

cheers

Thursday, February 19, 2009 - 10:15 am

so not only do i have to run a company and try to please the CEO day in and day out, the pig always says if i run into a problem to let him know since "he has all the knowlegde and i don't" - (actual words)

this morning i was on the phone with a client and she was having an accounting problem with her financial reports.  so i went online to see her computer and try to help her out.  going WAY behind my normal duties but always try to make the client/customer happy (something BOSS has yet to understand).

i couldn't figure out a specific calculation so i called him and asked if he could join the meeting and i'll transfer the call to him and i'll come in his office so we can work on it together.  fine.

so being his usual rude self, the poor woman is trying to ask a question and all he says is "stop.  stop.  stop.  you aren't listening.  are you listening to me?  why are you making your life so much harder.  you should be doing it this way." - umm, ya okay.  he's never talked to this woman or met her and is telling her how to run her company and how to do her company budget.  whatevs.

during the call i said that we needed to check a specific programming issue because it was something i couldn't duplicate and he said to me "shut up.  you don't know what you are doing.  that's why you brought me into this." keep in mind we have the client on speaker.  she chimes in and says "oh, he actually did go over this with me and he was a big help." to which he replies "well obviously not a big enough help or i wouldn't be involved."  

there was PURE SILENCE!

eventually the call ended and she thanked us.  then he starting shuffling through papers on his desk as i was talking to him.  he didn't hear a word i said.  standing there, i said "are you listening to me?" and he says "no.  not a word.  i'm busy.  don't you have some revenue to generate?"

fade to black...

Wednesday, February 18, 2009 - 1:30 pm

Personal Space!

Ya, you know that thing where you're like, standing in line at the grocery store and someone is standing right behind you like they want a piggyback? Well, I get back from a lovely leisure lunch and walk through the village today and bring my lunch back to eat in my office. WITH THE DOOR CLOSED. WITH A SIGN SAYING "LUNCH, DO NOT DISTURB!"

Well you probably guessed it. He gets back early from his lunch and just barges into my office "what's going on anything?" Ya dick, I am trying to eat my sandwich!

Does this sort of shit only happen to me?

Wednesday, February 18, 2009 - 10:50 am "Riddle me this batman"

when your boss calls you on the phone at 10:50 am from his office two doors over and asks you what's going on, and you say same ol', and he says he is leaving for a meeting and will be back late in the afternoon, why would he come into my office not two minutes after calling me to ask the same god damn question?

and what kills me about that is he walks right up behind my desk (personal space anyone?) and his belly nudges my shoulder and is looking at my computer sceens while i am talking to him. ugh. so gross.

the good lord rescue me......

From a contributor...

thanks h to the ngu for this one:

When you have an 'I Hate My Job Day'                            

                                                                            

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the      

thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson &  

Johnson.  Be very sure you get this brand.                

  

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the  

phone so you will not be disturbed.                    

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair.  

                

Open the package and remove the thermometer.                

Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not    

become chipped or broken.                        

Now the relief part begins.                        

                                                                            

Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully.  You will  

notice that in small print there is a statement:              

                                                                            

'Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized.'                          

                                                                            

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,            

'I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson &Johnson.'                          

                                                                            

HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE REAR THAN YOURS!  

Friday, February 13th, 2009 - 9:37 am

OH NO! Friday the 13th!  done done done

So BOSS rings me as he usually does in the morning and forgets that he didn't hang up the phone.  So I check my voicemail and i hear him talking to someone about "the set of tits on her.  you can hold her legs and i'll shove her head down there." - Now I know he wasn't talking about his wife.

I digress.

He is in a poopie mood today because he had to drive into the office and had a lunch in beverly hills, which was cancelled.  He's telling me this on the phone and says "well shit, now my days ruined.  you want to have lunch with me?  It's not like you have anything better to do." 

I agreed to have lunch because a) i don't have lunch plans b) it's casual day so i am more comfortable and can eat more and c) i told him i would if he pays.

Oh goodie, he must have heard me typing from his office cause now i am being summoned.   I wonder when the black cat will cross my path?

Thursday, February 12, 2008 - 10:46 am

Okay so the comment of the day is: 

"If you want to get ahead in life, you need to just pick up the phone.  That's what my son does.  It's what I do.  For some reason you are afraid to talk to people.  I have been begging you to do this for a long time and I don't get it!  If you can't get a move on things and generate more revenue, then you'll be part of the bailout program.  I hate to threaten you but it is what it is."

What a nice bastard huh?  Nothing like his daily daily OM motivation shit.  I mean why threaten?  Just "handle me" the way he thinks he should.  Oh wait, but then he wouldn't have anyone to run his company.  Oh, man.  Apparently I do some things right...

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, February 12, 2009 - 8:47 am

BOSS has this thing about being on time.  And rightfully so.  I mean, forget the fact that 70% of the time I don't leave my office for lunch.  I don't even leave my desk chair if I have to pee because I know I will get the "see me" or "call me" note left on my chair (see post from yesterdery).

On any given morning, EVERY MORNING, today for example, I walk into my office at 8:33.  There is a message on my voicemail left at 8:31 from BOSS wondering where i am and why am I not answering the phone.  I ignore it.  I usually do.

So i begin checking my emails and the phone rings.  The sales line!  YIPPEE finally some business this week.  I am having a great conversation, developing a relationship, feeling the potential of a new client, then my other line rings.  It's BOSS.  I don't answer it, because I am on the phone.

Then 30 seconds later he calls again.  Then I hear my name being paged on the PA throughout the office.  I ignore.

Then an email comes through.  A forward with the words "CALL ME x0000" - extension changed to protect identity.  I ignore.  Then another email two minutes later "ARE YOU THERE?" in the subject line, sent at 8:38 am.  

So I finally reply to the email and say "ON PHONE CHILL OUT" to which he replies "WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT, ME OR SALES? : ) " - SMILEY FACE!!!!!  WHAT????????????????

I ignored.  Then a follow up email at 8:50 am: "Call me right away I need to talk to you".  So I will be right back.  I am not going to finish this post until I call him and see what is so important.

Stand by... it's now 8:55 tick tick tick...

.... okay that took a little longer than i expected.  So the call lasted 6 minutes.  It was another seinfeld call (a call about nothing) anyway, he asked his signature "so what's going on anything?" - that's all he wanted.  It was SO urgent that I talk to him, but there was nothing.  So we talked for a few minutes about how he might have to let go of my assistant because money is tight and business is slow.  He did say "and i can't lose you so i need to fugure it all out" - WOW!  i think the heart was shining through.  Only for a minute, then it went back inside.

Now i have a list of crap to do that I won't get done because he'll call me a million times today to ask me about nothing, wasting most of my day.  The only benefit to him not in the office today is me parking in his spot.  And the chinese food lunch I am having today with my friend "Constance."

Cheers.

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unbelievable.  I get up to take a piss.  I leave my office for less than TWO MINUTES.  I get back and there is a note on my desk chair with the words scribbled "CALL ME".

So I call him and he says "i don't remember why i called you.  Don't you have anything to do?" 

The best was that I made a call and he can tell when I am on the phone because he has rigged his phone in his office to light up when I am on a call.  So he dials me and puts it on call-back.  Meaning, the moment I hang up with anyone my phone will ring him automatically.

So again, calling him and he says "what did you want?" to which I replied "you called me".

The really sad thing is, this occurs about 10 to 12 times throughout the work day.  I can't make this up even if you paid me.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009 - 2:50 pm

So the pig comes into my office and says "you really need to work harder and bring in some new business. I have to dip into my reserves to pay you."

Just an hour earlier he calls me into his office to tell me that he had breakfast with an old friend who is a business consultant and he told BOSS that "nobody is spending money.  it's bad out there.  it's hitting everyone."

Umm, hello dementia.  You there?

FYI, "BOSS" is what I refer to him as...

Some time last week

My boyfriend and I are taking an amazing trip to Hong Kong next month.  My BOSS says "oh, are you going with your little friend?  the one who's picture is on your facebook?" 

I said yes.  And he says "You people have it so good.  You have such freedoms.  You can be a gay democrat and all.  So why do you want to get married?  I mean, not you personally, but your people?"  I just don't get it.

Well, I guess there isn't much to comment on that one, or is there?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009 - 2:30 pm

So my boss is an ultra-conservative bush-loving old school republican who thinks gays should live on an island and black people are dumb. 

My assistant, let's call him "Christian" is of african decent.  I think he's a great guy.  He is a part time employee of ours and is in school full time.  So pardon him for not really learning everything the way the BOSS wants expects it, when he only works 12 hours a week and is never given clear instructions.  (It's his first office job!)

Christian emails me and says "BOSS emailed me a bunch of files to put on the network, is there anything I need to do with them first?" - I just said "hmm, if he didn't say anything in the email to you, then I guess not." - Well, he has access to the network from home.  Was there any specific reason why BOSS couldn't just put the god damn files on the server???  NO!  

When I briefed BOSS that Christian asked me what to do with them, BOSS replies "well, does he have a brain?  If he does, ask him if he knows how to use it." I didn't.  I left it alone.

It's a good think I didn't create this blog back in November when BOSS was calling Christian "BARACK OBAMA" because of the color of his skin.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009 - 11 AM

Today my boss tells me that since he is retiring and buying out the division of the firm that I manage, he is taking me with him.  

I've worked for this firm for the greater part of nine years.  Full 401k with 100% match, a decent, and really on paper a decent salary, good insurance, vacation and sick time, you name it.

I am told now because he is retiring from the partnership that because I am going with him, I have to move my office to the other side of town, making my commute WORSE than it already is, I will no longer be paid by the firm as of next month, and I won't have any of the "fringe" benefits that I've come to enjoy (umm, earned!) over the years.

What kind of shit is that?  Who does that?  And to boot, no raise, cost of living increase, stipend for my own health coverage.  WTF???  Did I wake up in a parallel world or something?  Does anybody else think this is wrong?

Clearly I haven't agreed to anything and will continue to follow the offer letter the firm gave to me and I signed.  And until he provides me a new offer letter or some kind of agreement, I ain't goin' nowhere!

Has anybody else had this type of problem?  If you think that's rich, read on... I'll be adding to this frequently to stay sane.

Welcome to the greatest blog ever!

I have finally decided to e-vent my frustration with work, my boss in particular.  Now I know in these troubled times who the hell has the right to bitch about work?  Well, screw that.  If you are treated like shit, you talk shit.

So I invite anyone and everyone to read my posts, comment on them and leave your own experiences here. Let's share.  Let's support each other.  It's just one more avenue to vent with people without your boss finding out, at least I hope!

Cheers!

- tired of being treated like shit (or as i will always sign my postings, TOBTLS)